trains hate me... but someone loves me

saturday morning. 7:15 am. i am calling a taxi. no car available. darn! i phone the next company. car'll be there in 2-3 minutes. i take my bag and go outside. time passes, i'm cold, no taxi in sight. i am getting nervous. suddenly, a cab from the firm i called passes by. i jump, wave, but the idiot drives on. guess he mistook the address.

7:25. i head to the nearest taxi station - no one parked there. 7:32. no chance i'll make it. i go to the next taxi station. no car parked as far as i can see. there, one is coming, the driver's buying a paper, heads back to the car by the time i reach him. i get in, he looks at me in expectancy. i sigh. "to the station. not that i've not already missed the train, but... the the station, anyway".

dunno why i insisted, but i thought i might just as well make certain i at least tried... maybe the train won't leave precisely when it's supposed to. "what time's your train at?" "7.46" he looks at his mobile's clock. then he steps hard on the gas pedal. 6 minutes left. it was like in the movies. the guy is racing. i kinda smiled at some point. i might actually make it. he stops, i give him the money. he wishes me luck, tells me not to waste time.

i don't recall ever getting on even so much as a tram without a ticket. never. i abhor that. however, i wasted no time. don't know why, but decided to forget about the ticket. i went straight to the platform. as i enter platform 1, i hear the loudspeakers. clearly, this time. train leaving at 7:46 from line 8.

i hurry, there are trains at lines 1 and 2 - the intercity to budapest i think, and some train to bucharest. there are also two trains at the other end of the station. i forget all about counting lines, i hurry to catch the train. in some weird sheepish upsurge i board the train the persons in front of me are boarding. they enter a compartment. i lean against the wall, catch my breath. i feel my feet melting. i can't believe i made it. i get my wallet ready - this is gonna get expensive. either 150% of the ticket price, if the ticket collector believes me, or a fine. it never crossed my mind to try getting away with it.

then it hits me. i remembered that at the same time, from two lines next to each other, two trains head to two different directions. i get off, try finding a board on one of the trains - none there. i go to the front of the wagons, there, i can see boards. i look at my train: canrasebes. darn! thank got i had gotten off, it was the wrong one. i turn to jump on the other, and............... the train is just going by, doors closed, gaining speed... i just about see the arad-sign going by me. the precise place where i should be in two hours.

i'm stricken. at first, i just stare at the train. i can't believe this is happening. it would've been better to get to the station and find that the train has left. but i was in one. i go to the information desk. next train is leaving at 11:50, way too late. i had to be in arad around 10:00 and catch the 13:00 train back in order to make it to work at 15:00. i got out of the train station and decided to see if i can catch a bus. i headed towards the bus station and...

well, if you don't believe in signs and portents skip the next paragraphs. i am not sure i believe either, but... i don't consider seeing any too often, so i am pretty determined to pay attention. i was right the three or four times i've had them. those might have been coincidences, so might have been this feeling i had, but in the end i made the decision to mind it.

on the way to the bus station, i saw a mini-van. i know them, they go two or three time a day on the route timisoara-arad-oradea. it was still waiting for passengers. i could've gotten on it and would've made it to arad in time. or maybe not. my folks had left town friday morning. the evening before, my mum asked with a worried look on her face how i was going to get to arad. i jokingly answered "by train, of course".

now, my mum really is the worrying kind. OH, YEAH! but i knew what was on her mind: lately, there have been loads of accidents in which minivans have been involved, of the kind i saw before me, the latest wednesday afternoon, on its way to... arad. no wonder - i've been to oradea once with such one and i know how they drive. i also know the roads in romania. i kind of promised my mum i wouldn't take a minivan, which seemed totally unimportant then, as i was sure i would go by train.

i kept looking at it, and i kept wanting to get on it. i was scolding myself and telling myself that i am being ridiculous, and what the hell, it's not like this precise one was going to have an accident. but i had a really bad feeling. i thought it was bad conscience for wanting to do something i had told my mum i wouldn't do, i was pissed off at myself. then i turned around and walked on.

because i had recalled the day and decided that i believe in coincidences. but not in that many happening at once. one evening before, a friend of mine who wanted to come along told me she can't make it. then in the morning: first, there is no cab. then the one i call passes by. first station - again no cab, second station - no cab, but i just happen to get the only one coming in. i never ever get on anything without a ticket, but i decide to do just that. out of two possible trains, i actually get into the wrong one! had i than looked first at the other's destination shield, i might have gotten on, but i looked on mine. i know there is basically no chance to find a bus, but i go to the station and on my way, doors wide open i find... the minivan i told my mum i wouldn't take.

well, call me silly, call me a chicken, call me superstitious. i believe that something happened that day. whether i wasn't supposed to get to arad at all... or whether i was supposed to find that precise minivan... i don't know. but you wouldn't believe the relief i felt walking away from there. it's not like that van had an accident, as far as i know. and i am not going to say that it would've, had i gotten on it. that would be silly. but as horrible as it felt, knowing it's my last chance, as good did it feel to not take it.

needless to say i found no other bus in the station. i thought i'd walk home and take some pics, as i had the camera with me. however, it was such a gray day, that none would've come out ok. besides, the bag was heavy on my shoulder, four books and a camera not something to carry around all over town. i got on a bus home, using up the ticket that should've gotten me to work after returning from arad, not before getting there at all.

i got home... i was in a really, really quiet mood. i still couldn't believe how i've come to miss the train, i kept seeing it leaving from under my eyes. i couldn't believe i wasn't there for the meeting. yes, i was supposed to meet someone. not really supposed, i guess, as it was meant as a surprise. and... well, if you remember the blog about the placebo concert, high and dry, i related a similar incident - with doors closing and train leaving and not saying goodbyes. believe it or not - it was that very person i wanted to meet. i phoned her, told her the whole story and went to bed to get over it, until the alarm rang and i had to go to work. however... through all the sadness and angry feelings over it, when i went to bed i had the distinct feeling that the dragon has not been sleeping, for the second time this year.