strike of genius

... or maybe not :) sometime during this day i will post a new blog (hopefully... you know how my posting promises go...). nothing new, really, it's something i've posted on the forum, but took me quite some time to write, so... why not recycle? :) also, an update is due.

anyways, i was thinking... - it's not an original idea, i got it from some other blogger - of doing a feature on the blog. so if you (think you) are among the approved readers of this blog and there is anything you wish to say here rather than on your own blog or somewhere else or whatever... just go ahead.

write me a mail containing your text; maybe put your post's title in the subject line or otherwise make it plain to see. also feel free to add pics if there are any particular ones you wish included and state your pen-name :), it will go in the title too.

i will think of something (prolly another dragon :) )to replace the little blue dragon at the start of (most of) my posts, to also visually identify feature posts.

let's see whether something comes out of this :)

Zaraza - part two

Let's see how you're doing: you haven't changed your car, you've got no villa and you didn't get a mobile with bluetooth, like all the fancy people do.

You didn't kiss ass to build a career. You spent all your money on books, movies and travels.

If you keep it up in the coming year, you are sure to win all our respect. From Zaraza, to all those who understand that you are made a gentleman by what you know, not own... Respect!

Zaraza part one

Zaraza greets all those who don't appear in magazines, those who don't have fancy cars, teenage girlfriends or spectacular political careers.

Zaraza congratulates all those who know what "fortuitously" means and those for whom Kafka isn't a Czech football player.

From Zaraza, for the true gentlemen in Romania... Respect!

2006

yeah, i know. it's not over yet. and i hate summing up things. as i mentioned somewhere else, i dread looking under lines to see what i end up with. but since i've already done it elsewhere... why not post it here as well. a reminder for future generations :)

on the outside... better than 2005 in some ways. professionally and financially mostly. and i sometimes feel like an arsehole for complaining because of that. also on the plus side of things, there was an accomplishment i suppose i should be proud of and yet another international experience.

on the inside... a calmer year on interpersonal level... what struggles there were, they were the aftermath of 2005 so it's yesterday's snow really. the big plus here is a big thank you to my guardian angel; an unforgettable august night; and some dear friends.

the big minus goes to my more and more pregnant lack of enthusiasm, appreciation, trust, faith, hope and will to change. a lesson i should've learned and i constantly fail (though that is not such a good thing; wanting to pass is) and a promise i keep making to myself... and breaking. and i hate promise-breakers. i know i didn't make much sense, but bear with me. i honestly do know what i am talking about, it makes perfect sense to me.

this is what i posted as a sum-up. i didn't want to go into detail there.

i can't deny it was a good year from those two points of view. i earn quite some money and quite easily. i know many a person would like my job. but it's wearing me down, turning me into someone i don't want to be. i'm afraid it's one of the things that will need seeing into in 2007. not that i believe in new year's resolutions anymore.

my so called accomplishment that everyone says looks good in a cv is more of a headache than a reason for joy to me. and, hey, people, i don't care about my cv. i don't care about career.

amsterdam was great. the project filled me, at least short-term with enthusiasm. well, am paying for that mistake now. meant to go back there in autumn, but nikon got the best of me :) however... it's a city worth the wait and worth a good camera, too :) i was considering summer but might make that spring. maybe a truly lavish birthday present to myself.

most echoes of 2005's troubles just managed to die out short of the end of this year. what bonds still tie me to days passed, i mean to sever in may. more about that in may, however :) (considering i'll be still alive, conscious, able to write and willing).

surviving with a mere bruise an accident in which others break their spine i suppose is a good thing to be counted at the end of the year. good to have a dragon near. as for the august night... i suppose most people reading know what i mean :) i don't believe in a drug stronger than that. the friends... also know, i presume. or hope.

the downside of things... well, that is something i still need to sort out with myself. as said, i don't believe in new year's resolutions anymore. those are destined to be broken. i am at the moment looking for something worth believing in. well... i can wait. there's no hurry. there are other years to come. or so they say. it needn't be mystic, or noble or some higher goal. just something to keep me going. and... i just remembered a song very dear to me that i haven't listened to in quite a while...

in a world that gives you nothing...
i need something... to believe in.

ps: yep, second pic by marcin stawiarz again. i'll get there, someday :)

someone call the ambulance...

Personality Disorder Test Results Paranoid |||||||||||||||||| 74% Schizoid |||||||||||||||||||| 86% Schizotypal |||||||||||||||| 62% Antisocial |||||||||||||||| 66% Borderline |||||||||||||||||||| 82% Histrionic |||||| 30% Narcissistic |||||| 26% Avoidant |||||||||||||||| 70% Dependent |||||||||||||| 54% Obsessive-Compulsive |||||||||||| 42%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

some news

quick post:

for those of you who knew about my previous forum and / or used to post in it...
can't get that back, but i've set up another one.
still having smiley trouble, but it's functional.
you are very welcome to post there.
i will not make the address public.
if interested, please mail me and i'll send you the link.
oh, please use the du.shurtugal[at]gmail[dot]com addy.
i check that one daily.

stone sour - bother

Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries

And you don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I'll never live down my deceit

i can't help it *grin*