day off, plans and laptop

have taken tomorrow off. spur of the moment decision. my boss offered it, as i still had two free days to recuperate, since i have worked over the official holidays. judging by how tired i felt, i jumped at the oportunity. i'll probably not rest as much as i'd want. am gonna waste some time sleeping, then i might be going to meet with a friend's friend to talk over a part-time job i plan to take on (no eye-rolling please...), moderating a forum. also, i have some coursework to put order in.
the other news would be that i am planning to buy a laptop. it's a half-hearted desire really, as... i can't really name solid arguments for it (even tough i have some non-solid ones, that i easily tear to pieces). but as soon as someone tries talking me out of it, i want it even more. now call that a living, walking contradiction. for some obscure reason, i feel like smashing a lot of money, that i agree i could spend in a hunderd different better ways. on the other hand... well, i want a laptop. you get the point...

ps: if you do, tell me what it it. this baby in the picture is the ones i've laid my eyes upon.

i just remembered... walt

a friend of mine mentioned a disney movie a couple of mins ago. it just sprang the dam to a stream of consciousness (for lack of a better term). remembered something from ages ago. ages meaning three, even four years. it does seem like another person's life, come to think of it :(
i had won a t-shirt at an event. i wasn't there the next day to claim the prize, but they had my details and they said they'd send the t-shirt. assholes! they never did. it was bright yellow and had a walt disney quote on it. it read "it is kind of fun to do the impossible". i really liked the quote and i don't own many happy coloured t-shirts so i would have really liked to get it.
anyway, the point is... this is just another useless detail i remembered. it stuck with me over the years and there goes a tiny little word to trigger this entire association. my memory must be the biggest recycle bin you've ever seen. and i can't seem to find the 'empty' button. i'd really need it. if someone finds the user's guide to my brain, make sure to send it to me. cheers!
it is kind of fun to do the impossible...

am not even gonna say it

... oh, yes i will. it's what i've come to call my brokeback feeling (no, don't go rolling your eyes there, i can see that you know!). i wanna go on my brokeback mountain... i'm not keen on camping, but i don't think i'd mind a tent now. i'm in the mood for garda, but not exactly that. how should i put it. i don't want the neighbour's crazy cow coming 'round. and i don't wanna go to the village to buy bread.
honestly now. i think i need some solitude. take a book, something to write, a warm blanket and kara and... just go somewhere. lake, mountains, forest, sun, birds - the entire landscape. dunno... unwind.
do you know what's been keeping me from painting my room all of this time? the drawer in the corner. it's packed full, so many papers, memories, stuff. piled up so i won't throw it away, stuffed in a cardboard box. or two. or three. whatever. need to get rid of all that before i start.
my mind seems just like that drawer. need to get rid of stuff that's piled up and getting in my way. need to retreat to a place where everything is ok, where i am sane and the world is in order and whatever i do is fine, because whatever i do follows the rules of the heart and i have only my heart to answer. it may make you feel small and insignificant. but boy, it sure takes a load off your chest to be small. small and free in shared eternity. sounds better than overgrown and stuffed in shoes that fit too tight. that's what i've come to call my brokeback feeling.
and now that i've done with spilling... do you think i could have jake help in the process? :p

puppy love (reloaded)

hey there. i just wanted to let you know that this weekend, i've been with nine other people (three vets among them) to a dog shelter just outside timisoara. there are around 100 dogs there, and it's not even close in conditions as a shelter is supposed to be (i mean, the way they all look on animal planet...). the dogs are only reasonably well fed, there's dirt and poor housing conditions and some of them are sick and parasite infested. however, we have managed to vaccinate 60 dogs against rabies and deparasite 3 pups. these have all been given a red collar and an identification number and have been entered in a chart, along with their sex, size, description and notes of treatment. one little light brown bitch underwent eye surgery on the spot, as two vets operated her in their van. we hope to continue this action next saturday.

puppy love

i was pretty disappointed today (friday. it's past midnight again...). there was supposed to be a public meeting where we (the animal rights group) intended to present our programme of stray dog management. it's a pilot project in a given area of the city, we have the cooperation of the local administration, the dog catchers and several vets in the area. we mean the dogs to be caught, neutered or spayed, vaccinated, treated and be returned to their original location if someone will sign for taking them up and shouldering responsibility.
unfortunately, apparently only two citizens seemed interested in the issue, even though i assure you that there are many more complaints about the strays... and the head of the block administrators association is one of them blokes who'll only say 'city hall gotta take them all away and kill them'; the kind of guy you mustn't even bother to get in an argument with. he'll take you down to his level and beat you with experience.
and there my coutrypeople go and say you can't do anything because of the authorities. well, lemme tell you something: authorities came. the vicemayor meant to attend the meeting, but then he realised that there is no meeting... he had already talked to us and the press and there were virtually no citizens...
anyway. since the windmill still stands, my quijote will mount his shaggy rosinante again. tomorrow on the first occasion. cause we are taking over a dog shelter and we'll go out there tomorrow with volunteers and vets to clean up the place and vaccinate the dogs.

melancholic chick :)

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything. (yeah, a bit too much) You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life. (don't we all?) You love silence and solitude. (true) Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.(yeah, and I have a tendency of making it even more so....) Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace. You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life. Wise and patient (are you sure about this? /:) ), you can help people through difficult times. At your worst, you brood and sulk. (beware!) Your negative thoughts can trap you. You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others. (or makes it hard for them to connect to me. one or the other...) You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult. (gotta keep thinking in shape, don't i?)

my birthday - march 20 - means....

You are a virtual roller coaster of emotions, and most people enjoy the ride. Your mood tends to set the tone of the room, and when you're happy, this is a good thing. When you get in a dark mood, watch out - it's very hard to get you out of it. It's sometimes hard for you to cheer up, and your gloom can be contagious.
Your strength: Your warm heart (some would rate it as a weakness)
Your weakness: Trouble controlling your emotions (it's true for the trouble...)
Your power color: Black (indeed)
Your power symbol: Musical note (and that means...?)
Your power month: February (don't like the month much... but if you say so...)

silence on brokeback

i meant to write something about brokeback mountain. i haven't brought it over me yesterday, after i watched the movie. i still don't know what i mean to write. it's the kind of movie that should be watched and felt, not talked about. it left a weird feeling of deep loss and utter rage, am still shifting between the two. it just stroke a chord with the little don quijote in me. unfortunately for him and for me, my don quijote is fully aware that the dragons he battles are just windmills. makes the task even harder. i know i can't change the world, though i sometimes still believe it. and this particular issue is sometyhing i feel very strongly about. i hate to call it gay rights, that's just an overused phrase. it's so much more than that. it was such a hard fought war to make people aware that love crosses boundaries of states, of languages, cultures, of space and time. and they seem even more reluctant to the idea that love crosses boundaries of gender, or that it cares not for artificial boundaries of a questionable morality. the tagline says it all. 'love is a force of nature'.
i hadn't expected less of the movie than to strike that chord that moves me and get me in a rage. yet all i can do to scream out against injustice, is just utter a silent cry in rhymes. it's my way of getting out the feelings that have stirred. it's something i needed to write, to get it out of my system. apart from that, i am afraid there's little i can do. as placebo put it "hold your breath and count to ten, and fall apart and start again"
or even better. let ennis say it. "if you can't fix it you've got to stand it."

silence on brokeback

there is silence on brokeback.

the river flows its steady path.
green bursts in winter's aftermath.
there's a rustle of life that never leaves.
the wind whispers as though it grieves.

and yet, there is silence on brokeback.

there is bleating from thousands of sheep.
there's coyotes' howls interrupting sleep.
the one thing that isn't, is entwined laughter.
so from now on until ever after

there will always be silence on brokeback.

i have a green heart

Love completes you, but that doesn't mean you seek it out. When love comes your way, you integrate it peacefully into the rest of you life.


Your flirting style: Laid back
Your lucky first date: Walking around aimlessly and talking
Your dream lover: Is both enthusiastic and calm
What you bring to relationships: Balance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

victory!

surprised to see me here already? well, i was surprised too today. mighty impressed, actually (this entry will probably be dated as tuesday. it's 2 a.m. and tuesday alright, but for me it's still monday evening...). guess what, the publishers i have written to on friday have answered. promtly. soon as they resumed work. am really impressed. wrote back and told them so, too. and the other good piece of news is that eldest is going to be published in april this year. hip-hip-hooray for that. i've checked some sites, romanian release for the movie eragon is scheduled december 15. when santa claus is coming to town :). so i decided RAO deserve to have their logo put up here as today's blog entry's image. there you go. well done, guys.