the toilet blog

how many people out there watch(ed) ally mcbeal? ok, ok, lower your hands, no need to poke my eyes out. i just needed a smart introduction. well, even if you've only fleetingly watched the series, you will have noticed that some of the best, funniest, smartest, most interesting, revealing and important moments of an episode's plot happens not in the courtroom or in the office, but in.... the toilet.

whether it's the biscuit gathering courage in front of the mirror by doing barry white impressions, people making love in the stalls, conversations being overheard, or just meaningful sighs of characters while looking at their own reflections... it happened there. of course, the fact that it was a unisex toilet was important in all this. and it's usually the "oh, i didn't know you were here" thing that played a part.

well, i hate public toilets. i hate the fact that people who happen to be in the room hear you peeing. i know, i know, it's natural to pee and the toilet is the place to do it. but i don't like it. it's even worse with poo. and god forbid you need to fart. that's downright embarrassing - toilet or not.

when i go to the toilet at work, and there's someone there at the sink or in the other stall... i usually wait until they leave the bathroom before i get out of my stall. don't ask why. i just don't consider public toilets a place to look strangers in the eyes. am i weird in this?

now don't tell me i'm weird just for writing about it. there are serious, scientific surveys about bathroom behaviour. people get paid for putting toilet users in categories according to toilet rituals, the way they fold their paper, wash their hands, what they do while peeing or pooing or how they keep their trousers while sitting on the throne. there is nothing off with my post here, seriously. i was just expressing some apprehension towards public toilest.

i might be too prude for all i know. but toilets should make you feel comfortable and safe. you should know no one is busting in on you, no one overhears any weird noises you might make - be it sighs of relief or concentration or just a plop in the water, where you don't hear others gossiping, possibly even about you; where you can spend some quality time with yourself, being excused from the world with a very acceptable and undeniable reason; where you can relax reading instructions from detergent bottles of have a good time with your favourite book, and maybe a bottle of coke next to you or just meditating about insightful and deep philosophical issues. under no circumstance should it be a place where you mind social conventions and have cramps because you force yourself not to make sounds...

well... so much musings for today. excuse me... am off to read a book ;)